James Donaldson on Mental Health – 13 Tips for Helping Anxious Kids Enjoy Summer Camp

How to clear the fear to make way for a formative experience

Portraits of summer camp showcase sun-splashed children playing sports, swimming, and laughing. Not pictured is any sign of anxiety, a natural reaction to a new adventure and a several-week separation. All children experience a mixture of excitement and nervousness when summer camp approaches. For most, excitement trumps nerves, but some children develop anxiety serious enough to get in the way of what should be a fun, formative experience.

Summer camps hone many skills useful for future success: resilience, self-reliance, and social adaptability. The camp experience — being away from home and among peers — can help kids develop social skills, separate in a healthy way from parents, and cultivate independence. Camp activities can help them build confidence by demonstrating mastery. Children are often ready for sleep-away camp around ages 10 to 12, although preparedness varies depending on age, experience, and temperament.

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Tools for taming anxiety

The key to helping your child get over pre-camp nerves is to acknowledge their feelings and give them tools to help them tame them.

1. Let your child feel a sense of ownership over the experience. Involve them in picking the summer camp; familiarize them with the camp environment and teach them about camp activities so they can formulate expectations.

2. Help your child get excited about camp: Take them shopping for new gear and focus them on fun things about camp that they can anticipate.

3. Avoid focusing on what makes children anxious. Instead of asking leading questions like, “Are you nervous about horseback riding?” ask open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about the horses?”

4. Don’t trivialize their concerns or offer glib reassurances. “There’s nothing to worry about!” or “Everyone loves camp!” may discourage your child. Instead, show that you have empathy and acknowledge their concerns.

5. Focus on concrete details in conversations leading up to and during summer camp. Avoid abstract issues like what it it’s like to be away from home in favor of cabin details, meals in the lodge, or campfire rituals.

6. Reflect on your own formative experiences away from home and share positive aspects of them with your child. Show that you are willing to talk about the new things they’ll be doing, whether it’s eating new food, sleeping in a bunkbed, getting along with cabin-mates, or coexisting with insects.

7. Go through “rehearsals.” A shorter-term sleepover or a night at a relative’s house will make it easier for your child to be away from home.

8. Don’t linger at the bus stop. Keep the goodbyes short, as delaying just causes more mixed feelings.

9. Make communication easy and accessible: Pack envelopes and stamps, outline a schedule for phone calls or emails if they’re part of the camp’s routine, and make sure your child understands how easy it will be.

10. Have goals for each letter or conversation, so your child will come away focused on how they are adjusting, rather than on how much they want to come home.

11. Try not to communicate your own anxiety; your child can pick up on your feelings even if you don’t verbalize them. What you want to share is your confidence in your child and the summer experience.

12. Help your child formulate realistic, goal-oriented plans for making friends or toasting the perfect marshmallow or passing a swimming test. The thrill of completing these plans can give your child a feeling of success and take their mind off their anxiety.

13. If your child has psychiatric or learning issues, don’t keep them a secret. Make sure the staff and counselors know anything they need to know to head off problems and maximize their experience. Do they wet the bed? Are they anxious about water? And let your child know that counselors are there to support them, whether they have a simple question or a larger problem.

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Are you ready for your child to go to camp?

For parents who are anxious about sending kids to summer camp, remember that a good camp includes a team of professionals and counselors committed to fostering social learning in your child.

Summer camp is a unique situation where your child engages with a large community of peers and learns how to interact socially in a less-structured environment than school. This is a time for them to actively make decisions for themselves and develop a sense of self-reliance. Though you may be concerned and wish to intervene, your supportiveness will give your child room to take ownership over the experience themselves.

When should you worry that a child’s pre-camp anxiety is something problematic? You might be concerned if they demonstrate physical symptoms of fear: cold or clammy hands, butterflies, faintness, headache, or nausea. Excessive tearfulness and hiding are also signs that something out-of-the-ordinary is going on. A child might have nightmares about separation, or ask questions like, “What if something happens to me or you when I’m away?” If a child’s reaction is so severe that it interferes with normal functioning, it might be time to consult a mental health professional.

Frequently Asked Questions

What are some tips to help an anxious child who is refusing to go to camp?

To help a child who is anxious about going to summer camp, don’t trivialize their concerns. Saying things like, “There’s nothing to worry about!” or “Everyone loves camp!” may discourage them. Acknowledge their concerns and help them get excited about camp.

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James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.

James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.

In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.

He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.

James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!

For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:

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JamesD@StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)

James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.

If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org