Informing kids about suicide is difficult, but addressing their fears is vital.
Parenting makes it hard to express such a painful circumstance. Consider adapting terminology to your child’s age and cognitive ability, and be direct and honest with them. This article offers tips for discussing suicide with kids responsibly and conveniently.
A 2021 study by the International Association for Suicide Prevention predicts an estimated 703,000 annual suicides. Communication is a key preventative strategy, especially when opening the conversation with kids.
This issue seldom occurs until a specific circumstance prompts parents to discuss suicide with their children. This conversation is impending when a close relative commits suicide or attempts to, a child has heard the term but doesn’t know what it means, or the parents approach the child to discuss a topic connected to their current situation.
As with death, sexuality, and money, how we speak about suicide depends on the child’s age.
Young Children
Young kids make up answers when they don’t receive one. They’ll develop an unreal and magical explanation method if they don’t grasp anything in their surroundings.
Mental Illness Research Education Clinical professionals emphasize avoiding overloading children with information. Paying attention to the child’s inquiries calmly and nonjudgmentally is key. Thus, you need not describe what occurred. Instead, let their inquiries lead your speech.
After introducing yourself, start with the facts: “I’d want to speak to you about what occurred with your uncle last night. He felt depressed and wounded. He’s receiving hospital care.”
Using child-friendly language is also crucial. Language should be straightforward. Use a gentle, calm tone of voice and approach them at
eye level to communicate effectively.
Let them express their sentiments and ask all the necessary questions, even unpleasant or painful.
Children Over 7 Years Old
Schoolchildren understand mental health difficulties. They gradually realize their own and others’ feelings. This might also make individuals feel guilty for not seeing a friend or family member’s emotional state sooner.
Support and reassurance that the kid is not directly to blame remain crucial in this situation. The National Child Traumatic Stress Network offers guidance for parents and caregivers to address suicide deaths with children. They warn that concealing a loved one’s suicide and stating they died might cause further issues.
Lying to a kid will make them doubt their carers. Grief includes good sadness. We must affirm the child’s feelings and support them through this tough period, not put them on the sidelines or prevent them from experiencing grief.
Other suicide discussion tips for schoolchildren:
- Let the kids express themselves in a quiet, comfortable location.
- Tell their instructors and administrators about the problem.
- Language should match the child’s age and comprehension.
- Communicate honestly without excessive visual descriptions.
- Give hugs.
#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and JoyLink for 40 Habits Signup
www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com
bit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth
Children Over 11 Years Old
Preteens and teens comprehend suicide and death. Thus, they require further specifics. They may ask different questions but keep them to themselves. People may feel ashamed to communicate their issues or sentiments with grownups.
The newest data alarms. According to the WHO, suicide is the fourth greatest cause of death for those aged 15-29. Similarly, the NASP (National Association of School Psychologists) reports that teenagers with suicidal thoughts seldom seek treatment directly.
Nevertheless, people express sadness via farewell letters or remarks like “I hope I fall asleep and never wake up again” or “I don’t want to live.”
Suicide and other mental health topics must not remain taboo. Communication is the greatest preventative method. Truths, no matter how sad, should not be hidden.
Clarity, Empathy, & Honesty
When discussing suicide with children, take into account their age and development. We may inquire, “Do they grasp the irreversibility of death?” and “Do they know what suicide implies, or is this the first time they’ve heard the term?”
We must modify our speech to their requirements while being straightforward, empathic, and honest. We need a warm, safe environment.
If we cannot handle this problem, seeking expert aid might be helpful. A psychologist or psychiatrist may tailor tools to your situation to help you cope.
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
www.StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
JamesD@StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org