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James Donaldson on Mental Health – How to talk with loved ones about suicidal thoughts: a tough but necessary conversation
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James Donaldson on Mental Health – How to talk with loved ones about suicidal thoughts: a tough but necessary conversation
Tracy Protell, MD
Suicide is the second leading cause of death in persons aged 10 to 34. Studies show that approximately 15 percent of adolescents have thought about suicide within the past year. Rates in adults tend to be lower, at about 5 percent. Luckily, not every thought leads to suicidal actions, but that leaves the difficult question of when to be very worried verses just concerned.
Start the conversation
For most people, talking about suicide is very uncomfortable – especially when speaking with loved ones. However, research shows that talking about these thoughts is the most important step to ensure safety. It is important to stay calm when discussing suicide with loved ones. Any sort of strong emotional response, blaming or creating feelings of guilt, or belittling these thoughts will likely decrease the person’s willingness to open up. Instead, focus on mostly listening and gathering information and express only emotions of support. A good place to start is usually asking, “Do you ever have thoughts of hurting yourself or killing yourself?”
Make a plan of action
Suicidal thoughts vary in terms of risk. The risk varies from vague thoughts of one’s own death to having severe suicidal thoughts with a plan and intent to carry out that plan. Interviews with suicide survivors have shown that the majority of suicide attempts were not planned out for more than an hour before the event. It is important, therefore, that if you are concerned about a loved one, make sure they have a safety plan. An example of a safety plan might look something like this:
Try distraction by watching a movie, listening to music, or reading
Call or text a person of support in your life
Meet with a loved one
Call or text the National Suicide Lifeline at 988
Go to the Emergency Department or call 911
A safety plan is often needed when suicidal thoughts occur and a person starts thinking of a way in which they might hurt or kill themselves. The more realistic their plan, the higher the risk. Some individuals might need to be hospitalized to ensure their own safety until
their intense suicidal thoughts subside. Severe suicidal thoughts are no different than a severe allergic reaction, severe asthma attack, or heart attack and should be taken just as seriously.
#James Donaldson notes: Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes. Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use. Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.#http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book, #CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy
Try to ensure those you love know they can talk to you if they are having suicidal thoughts by being open and supportive about their mental health. You can be proactive by mitigating risks of suicide such as keeping firearms locked in a safe and separate from ammunition (or not in the home at all), and securing medications. Have the National Suicide Crisis Line in an obvious place where anyone can access it. South Tahoe High School and Middle School student identification cards have this number on them. For parents of teenagers, please try to stay involved and know what your kids are up to and how they are feeling. If someone confides in you but won’t take action, making sure they are getting help is the right thing to do.
I hope this advice can make an emotional and difficult topic a bit easier to speak about. Suicide is a preventable death, and people have much more power to make a difference than they might believe.
A few resources:
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: 988
El Dorado County Mental Health Crisis Line: 530.544.2219
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
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