Men aged 45 to 49 had the highest suicide rate, at 25.5 deaths per 100,000 males, according to the statistics published ahead of World Suicide Prevention Day (10 September).
“The latest statistics released by ONS don’t make for great reading,” says Simon Gunning, CEO at charity Campaign Against Living Miserably (CALM).
“On average 109 people a week died by suicide in 2019 across England and Wales. With men accounting for 75% of suicides, an average of 83 men a week are dying by suicide. That is unacceptable.”
There are many complex reasons why the male suicide rate is at a concerning level
Why are men so at risk?
According to Gunning there are many, incredibly complex, reasons for the gender bias in suicide.
“We know suicidal thoughts are common amongst men with more than four in 10 men under the age of 45 in the UK have contemplated taking their own lives,” he said. “Yet a staggering 84% of men in the UK say they bottle up their emotions, with nearly half (44%) saying they suppress their emotions often or at least once a day.”
Elizabeth Scowcroft, head of research at Samaritans, agrees there are many psychological, social, cultural and economic factors that could influence male suicide risk.
She points to Samaritans research which has shown that factors like relationship breakdown, unemployment, having to live up to a ‘masculine’ gold standard, and not having the same type of social network as many women, have a role in increasing the risk of suicide for middle-aged men.
“We also know that men who are less well-off and living in the most deprived areas are up to 10 times more likely to die by suicide than more well-off men from affluent areas,” she adds.
#James Donaldson notes: Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes. Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use. Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.#http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book, #CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy
According to Stephen Buckley, head of information at mental health charity MIND, another contributing factor could stem from men being unwilling or feeling unable to open up if they’re suffering.
“Unhelpful and inaccurate societal assumptions about gender and mental health can prevent men from showing their emotions, talking about their feelings, or asking for help,” he explains.
“Men are generally less likely than women to visit a GP for a physical or mental health problem, meaning problems could go undetected and get worse.”
He adds that women tend to have stronger support networks of friends and family around them.
“Loved ones can be instrumental to improving our wellbeing, providing us with someone to confide in when we are struggling with our mental health,” he explains.
“Men are generally more likely to turn to less effective coping strategies, including alcohol and substance use, which can make our mental health worse.
“That’s why it’s so important that mental health interventions are offered in a range of settings, including through sports, exercise and physical activity groups.”
The Samaritans agree that men may be more open to seeking support via less traditional methods.
“We’ve more recently found through our research that building support and coping mechanisms for men might involve using activities, exercise or music to manage stress or worry, rather than talking, and their relationships may be based more around shared activity than directly speaking about how they’re feeling in more formal support settings,” Scowcroft explains.
Reaching out to someone you think might be struggling is an important first step
Time for change
Despite the cultural stigma surrounding male mental health and suicide, Gunning says we’re moving in the right direction.
“More people than ever are contacting CALM and accessing our services, which is a good sign that we are reaching people and they feel able to reach out for help,” he said.
Buckley agrees that attitudes surrounding male mental health are improving, thanks in large part to anti-stigma movements like Time to Change, a campaign to change how people think and act about mental health, run by charities Mind and Rethink Mental Illness.
“It’s also really helpful and encouraging to see high-profile individuals speak out about their own experiences, particularly male sportspeople, as this helps normalize mental health problems, prompting others to ask for help if they need it,” he adds.
How to help someone struggling with their mental health
According to Gunning, if you’re concerned a male friend or relative is struggling with their mental health, the first step is trying to encourage them to open up.
“If you’re worried that someone you know may be feeling suicidal it can be really hard to know what to say to them,” he says. “But it’s important we do reach out to talk to them.”
Buckley agrees that talking to someone you think might be struggling is important.
“You don’t have to be an expert, just try to ask them how they’re feeling, and listen sensitively and non-judgmentally to their response,” he says.
“If they are not willing or able to open up, you’ve at least let them know you are there for them if and when they want to talk.
“If they are feeling suicidal, call 999 and ask for an ambulance, and stay with them if you think they may take their own life.”
CALM have created a couple of simple measures people can adopt to help someone who might be battling a mental health problem.
“The ALAN method is a tool we developed to help get the conversation started, and make us all more comfortable checking in on someone who seems to be having a tough time. It’s easy to remember and just as easy to do,” Gunning explains.
Ask open questions, such as ‘how are you doing?’. Give the person time to open up if they need. It’s okay to say you’re worried, or that you’re not sure how to start the conversation but you wanted to see if they’re okay. Asking is the very first step in breaking down that wall and making a connection in someone’s time of need.
Listen. Once you’ve asked a question, make sure you actually listen to the answer. Be patient and let them say what they need. Try to just listen, rather than attempting to solve any problem. Lots of people just need to vent – and even by chipping in with advice you could unintentionally cut them off or dismiss their feelings.
Action. Create a plan of action to get them feeling better. It’s a good idea to set SMART goals – tasks that are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and timely. So rather than a general ‘I want to feel happier’, break that goal down into more manageable chunks; say, calling and booking a doctor’s appointment by this time next week, or planning to meet up again this coming Friday. Let your friend know what support is out there and arrange a time for you to check back in.
Network. Let them know they’re not in this alone. Build a support network of friends, family, and professionals (a doctor or a therapist, for example), so that the person struggling knows they have people they can turn to in any situation.
For further help and information:-
CALM’s helpline and webchat are open from 5pm until midnight, 365 days a year. Call CALM on 0800 58 58 58 or chat to their trained helpline staff online, it’s free, anonymous and confidential.
Or for more information about mental health and how to get help visit Mind.
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James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at [email protected] and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
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