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Being LGBTQ+ doesn’t cause mental health problems. But because LGBTQ+ kids often face factors like rejection, bullying, discrimination, and violence, they are at a higher risk of challenges including depression, anxiety, and attempting suicide. However, there are ways that parents and others can support their mental health and help them grow up safe and happy.
Factors that make kids more likely to develop mental health challenges are called risk factors. The stress of being LGBTQ+ is a risk factor for nearly all kids who identify as LGBTQ+. They may be scared of being rejected or worry that they might be harassed or discriminated against because of their identity.
Directly experiencing bullying or discrimination is also a major risk factor, and so is lacking support at home and/or at school. Not having access to supportive mental health care and being addressed by the wrong name or pronouns are risk factors as well.
Things that reduce the impact of risk factors are called protective factors. They make it less likely that kids will develop mental health challenges. The biggest protective factor for LGBTQ+ kids is having unconditional love and support at home. Other supportive adults can also make a big difference, and so can getting good health care, attending a school with supportive policies, and being able to safely use the name and pronouns that match their identity.
Parents of LGBTQ+ kids can support them by making home a safe space and advocating for them at school when necessary. It also helps to connect them to health care (both physical health and mental health) that respects their gender identity and sexual orientation. This kind of support can make the difference between a child who develops mental heath issues and one who thrives as they get older.
If you have a child who’s LGBTQ+ you may worry about whether they’re getting the support they need to be safe and healthy. You may be aware that LGBTQ+ kids are at higher risk than other kids for developing mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, and substance abuse. They also have higher rates of contemplating, attempting, and dying by suicide.
That’s why it’s important to understand what factors make an LGBTQ+ young person more or less likely to develop a mental health problem, including considering or attempting suicide.
Being LGBTQ+ doesn’t cause mental health problems — and is not caused by mental health problems. Rather, these kids’ increased risk of developing mental health problems stems from exposure to factors like rejection, bullying, discrimination, and violence. While acceptance of LGBTQ+ kids has increased over the last few decades, the current political backlash has caused many of them to feel less secure.
In a 2024 Trevor Project poll of 18,000 LGBTQ+ youth between the ages of 13 and 24 years old, 90 percentsaid their well-being was negatively impacted due to recent politics — and 53 percent said it was impacted a lot.
Sixty-six percent reported feeling recent symptoms of anxiety, and 53 percent reported symptoms of depression. Thirty-nine percent said they had seriously considered suicide in the past year. More than one in 10 (12 percent) said they attempted suicide.
What can be done?
The more we know about what helps — and harms — LGBTQ+ kids, the better we can support them. Here, we look at both the risk factors — things that increase the likelihood that an LGBTQ+ kid will develop serious mental health problems — and the protective factors, or things that reduce that risk. If a child has a lot of risk factors and hardly any protective factors, they are particularly vulnerable. On the other hand, if they have a fair number of risk factors but a lot of protective factors, they may be less vulnerable.
#James Donaldson notes: Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes. Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use. Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.#http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book, #CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy
The stress of being LGBTQ+ is a risk factor that’s near-universal. “These youth’s identities carry stressors with them related to being in a marginalized and misunderstood group,” says Emma Woodward, PhD, a clinical psychologist at the Child Mind Institute. She notes the distress that comes with feeling the need to conceal their identities, the fear that they will be harassed or discriminated against, and the feelings of self-doubt that can result from being treated as if who they are is something to be ashamed of.
Additionally, LGBTQ+ kids often have stressful or even traumatic experiences that can impact their mental health, including:
Being bullied or actively discriminated against. “Bullying, discrimination, and social exclusion are hugely important risk factors for these kids,” says Dr. Woodward. According to the Trevor poll, 60 percent of LGBTQ+ youth reported that they have experienced discrimination based on their sexual orientation or gender identity at least once in their lifetime.
Little or no family support. One of the biggest health and safety risk factors for queer youth is lack of familial support and acceptance.
Lack of support by teachers and school administration.
Lack of access to mental health care. (The Trevor poll found that 50 percent of respondents said they wanted but were unable to get mental health services.)
Physical harm. The Trevor poll found that 23 percent of LGBTQ youth reported having been physically threatened or harmed due to their sexual orientation or gender identity.
Being threatened with conversion therapy. Therapy designed to make a queer or trans person “go back to normal” has been consistently associated with negative mental health outcomes and greater risk for suicide.
Being misgendered (addressed using the wrong pronouns) or not being called by their chosen name.
Key protective factors
While their struggles can be significant, with support and acceptance, LGBTQ+ kids can thrive. Most experts agree that the most important protective factor for LGBTQ+ kids is a high degree of support from family or caregivers. The Trevor Project poll bears that out: Having support from their family reduced the percentage of youth who considered or attempted suicide in the past year by almost half.
Other important protective factors include:
Access to health and mental health health care.
Being able to wear the clothes they need to express their identity or change their appearance to match their identity.
Having a supportive adult in their life. This can be a parent, teacher, family friend, coach, guidance counselor — anyone who can provide kindness and support when kids need it most. “Just having an adult who is understanding and supportive and will listen to a child can be really helpful,” says Dr. Woodward.
Being allowed to use their chosen names and pronouns at home, school, and work. One study showed that this significantly reduced depression and suicidal thinking in LGBTQ+ youth.
Having strong LGBTQ+ role models. Positive representations of LGBTQ+ individuals in the media — on streaming platforms, in films, music, sports, and even advertising — are becoming more and more common.
Attending a school with supportive policies, such as allowing LGBTQ+ kids to use the bathroom of their choice or a zero-tolerance policy regarding bullying.
Having a doctor who is an ally.
Exposure to happy, thriving LGBTQ+ adults.
How parents can help
Here are a few ways that parents and families can reduce risk factors and increase protective factors:
Make your home a safe space. “Having home be a place that they can be themselves without judgment or rejection or consequences makes a big difference,” says Dr. Woodward.
Advocate for your child in their school. “Parents can help kids advocate for and get the services and accommodations they need,” Dr. Woodward says. “And, if their teen is having negative experiences in school, parents can play a role as well.”
Get your child connected to health care (both physical health and mental health) that affirms their sexual orientation and gender identity. For many LGBTQ+ kids, working with a supportive mental health professional is an important way to process challenges and learn coping skills. You can learn more here about finding affordable mental health care in your area.
Have a talk about social media — what’s safe and what’s not.
Parenting can be hard at times and being the parent of an LGBTQ+ kid can be harder for a lot of reasons. But even if it takes you a long time to accept who they are, you can support them from the moment they come out to you. And that support can be the difference between having a kid who thrives or one who struggles with ongoing mental health issues.
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
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