Author: Jerilyn Stowe
#Suicide has been the second leading cause of death for young people ages 10-24 since 2014, and in Utah it’s the leading cause of death for #children ages 10-17. Losing a #child to #suicide is every parent’s worst nightmare. The best prevention is communication, finding out early that something is wrong, and getting your #child the help they need.
“Unfortunately, #children having suicidal thoughts or knowing about #suicide is more common than you may think,” says Kristin Francis, MD, #child and #adolescent #psychiatrist at Huntsman #MentalHealth Institute. “We have seen #children as young as six or seven reporting suicidal thoughts.” Although Francis acknowledges that expressing suicidal thoughts occurs more frequently in #children 10 and beyond, she underscores the importance of #parents being ready to talk to their kids about #mentalhealthconditions from an early age. “Given that roughly half of all lifetime #mentalhealthdisorders start by mid-#teens, #parents need to have a plan for how to talk to their #children about #suicide as soon as it is appropriate.”
“If there isn’t a need to discuss tragic events with your #child, then you don’t need to address it with them”, says Francis. “If they ask questions, or if you know your young #children are going to hear about a tragic event, then you definitely need to talk to them about it, even if they are younger than eight.”
Don’t avoid the conversation because it is difficult.
Talking about #suicide with your #child is important for many reasons, but most important, it helps dispel misinformation. Talking about #suicide doesn’t put ideas in someone’s head or cause #suicide. Rather, it helps create a safe environment where #children can ask questions.
“#Suicide impacts almost everyone directly or indirectly. Hearing about it from a trusted source, like a #parent or caregiver, will assist your #child with the right information and they can speak to others about it accurately,”
Kristin Francis, MD
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
DISCUSSING TRAGIC EVENTS WITH YOUR #CHILDREN, THE DO’S AND DON’TS
Young #children: Keep it simple
If a really young #child asks about #suicide, Francis recommends that you keep your answers short and to the point. She recommends saying something like “This person had a disease in their brain and it took over.” Talk about it like any other #healthcondition or as if the individual died of a heart attack or cancer. “They died and it is very sad.” Follow the lead of the #child and answer their questions with short answers.
Elementary-age #children 7-10: Honesty is best
Francis recommends that at this age, you can give more detail, but still keep your answers short. Continue to emphasize that the individual died from a disease and that death is sad. It’s critical that the #parent follow the child’s lead and answer their questions truthfully while being careful not to provide too much information the #child may not be ready for. She recommends saying something like “James had a disease called #depression and he had it for many years. I wish he would have been able to get more help.”
Middle schoolers 11-14: Add detail
By the time a #child is in middle #school, Francis recommends talking to pre-teens about warning signs.
“Middle schoolers are dealing with a lot of big emotions and likely have heard someone talking about #depression or #suicide or they may have personally dealt with a #mentalhealthcondition. Ask what they have heard or what they know about #suicide, what feelings they have about it and what they believe to be true about the causes of #suicide” says Francis.
Gathering information from your #child allows you to correct misinformation and enter the conversation where they are. #Parents can explain that when a person dies by #suicide it is not their fault. “#Parents can explain that people with #depression sometimes die, it can be a very serious illness and sometimes the disease is stronger than the treatment.”
#Parents need to ask their #children if they have ever had thoughts of #suicide or if any of their friends have. “Don’t fear the question, you want your #child to trust you and feel safe that they can talk to you about this serious topic,” she says.
#Teenagers: Continue the conversation
By the time a #child reaches #highschool, it is likely they know someone with a #mentalhealthcondition. The conversation about #suicide needs to continue, but at this point, they need to know what to do when they or a friend has suicidal thoughts.
“Ask your #teen what they will do if they start having suicidal thoughts, or when they are concerned a friend is having suicidal thoughts. Let them know #depression and other #mentalhealthconditions are not from a person being weak or a lack of willpower, but diseases that can be treated. Make sure they know that help is available and that they can always come and talk to you,” says Francis.
It is critical that #parents reassure their #teenager that having a #mentalhealthcondition is normal and they should ask for help.
When to worry
“In general, a #parent should be concerned if a child’s mood has changed, if their performance in #school has gone down, if they are having problems with friends, a loss of appetite or sleep, this is when you want to start asking questions,” says Francis.
If your #child starts talking about death and saying life is too hard, or if they think people would be better off without them, or they don’t want to live anymore, that’s when you need to reach out for help immediately. “There are professionals who can guide you through what to do in these situations,” says Francis.
Contact Huntsman #MentalHealthInstitute to get help or learn more, or reach out to these resources:
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
www.StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
JamesD@StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
