Trigger warning: This article extensively discusses #suicide and suicidal thinking. If you are suicidal, call #988; Go to your nearest hospital emergency room; or Text HOME to 741741 for 24/7 crisis support.
I wrestle alone in the dark, in the deep dark. And that only I can know, only I can understand my own condition. You live with the threat, you tell me you live with the threat of my extinction. Leonard, I live with it too. This is my right; it is the right of every human being.
~Virginia Woolfe Mrs. Dalloway/The Hours
Come on, come on; I see no changes, wake up in the morning and I ask myself is life worth living, should I blast myself.
2Pac Changes
#Stephen‘tWitch’Boss’ tragic #suicide continues to be minutely dissected to determine if there were warning signs that he was suicidal. As with other high profile people who have committed #suicide, why looms large. Why would intelligent, accomplished, and seemingly vibrant people end their lives? However, why is not the only question that should be considered. In the aftermath of a completed #suicide, family, friends, and others are left wondering how? How did they miss so called red flags or warning signs that #suicide was imminent? How do we collectively and individually help family members forge a path forward after a loved one commits #suicide?
Within hours of Mr. Boss’ death, news stories on red flags or warnings that a person is suicidal proliferated across the airwaves and #socialmedia. Though well-intended, these news stories ignore #STIGMA, the overarching reason that people with lived experience do not tell anyone that they are suicidal. That same #STIGMA is no respecter of persons or geography. It exists regardless of country, #gender, religious affiliation, #ethnicity, or socioeconomic status. In certain circles, such as the legal profession, the words #mentalillness, #suicide, and suicidal thinking are still too stigmatized to convene candid conversations.
#James Donaldson notes: Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes. Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use. Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.#http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book, #CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy
I am not a celebrity. I am a high functioning #black #woman, attorney, mother, and person of faith who has lived with #depression for at least 45 years with insidious episodes of suicidal thinking generously peppered throughout. Like many of my peers, I am extremely adept at concealing my #depression and #suicidalthoughts. Because I keep persisting as a #black #woman, attorney, and mother, few people, if any, know when I am wrestling with #depression and #suicidalthoughts alone in a dark place. They also don’t know that there are still mornings when I want to blast myself to bits before getting out of bed. Fortunately these episodes have greatly diminished giving my mind a well deserved rest. I rarely share such intimate details because:
I want to protect you.
I don’t want you to freak out.
You have your own problems.
I cannot carry your emotional weight, fear, and guilt.
I don’t trust you.
You judge me and don’t believe that #mentalillness is a brain disease.
You don’t trust me or my ability to manage my #mentalhealth.
You will call the #police or attempt to have me placed on a 72 hour hold.*
I can decide if I am a danger to myself or others.
I know that my #depression and #suicidalthoughts make you uncomfortable.
To commit #suicide or not is solely my decision. The contradiction is that I really don’t want to end my life. For me #suicide and suicidal thinking are about permanently turning off the voice that tempts and dares me to end my life. You may stop me from killing myself. But, the harsh truth is that if I want to commit #suicide, I will.
So, you may wonder how to help people with lived experience who are struggling with #depression, #suicide, suicidal thinking or all three. Storytelling is transformative. Tell your story. Pray for guidance, healing, mental clarity, and peace. Join or lead efforts to eliminate the fear, #stigma, and shame surrounding #mentalillness and #suicide. When writing about or reporting on #mentalillness and #suicide remember that there may not be signs, red flags, or simple answers. Dive deeper. Don’t be afraid of telling the good, bad, and ugly parts of #mentalillness and #suicide even if the ground shakes beneath your feet. You never know who is watching, reading, or listening.
*A 72 hour hold is an involuntary #mentalhealth hospitalization imposed when it is determined that a person is a danger to themselves or others.
#MENTALHEALTHRESOURCES
For non-emergency peer assistance, #mentalhealthawareness and education call the #NAMI National HelpLine at (800) 950-6264 or text HelpLine to 62640 from 10:00 AM to 10:00PM.
If you are suicidal or in crisis:
Call #988 the new #SuicideCrisisLifeline
Go to your nearest emergency room or
Text HOME to 741741 for 24/7 crisis support.
Call the #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline at 1–800–273-TALK (8255)
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
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