WHY YOU SHOULD CARE
When a loved one has cancer and decides to stop treatment, we understand that they need to end their suffering. Isn’t the same true of suicide?
It’s a highly contested law, as is a similar rule in the Netherlands. The Termination of Life on Request and Assisted Suicide Act allows doctors to end the life of a patient experiencing “unbearable suffering.” That includes mental suffering — as it should.
Most of us have experienced sadness, grief, and apathy. But for those with major depression— that’s nearly 7 percent of the U.S. adult population, according to the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH) — those feelings are near constant and far more intense. NIMH also found that nearly 40 percent of American adults who experienced a major depressive episode in 2016 did not receive treatment.
THEY’RE TRYING TO GET OUT OF COMPLETELY INTOLERABLE CIRCUMSTANCES.
DR. JULIE CEREL, PRESIDENT OF THE AMERICAN ASSOCIATION OF SUICIDOLOGY
Yet when a loved one commits suicide, an early reaction is often anger. We believe they chose to take their own life — that they were being selfish or “took the easy way out.” But consider this: If a family member has a terminal illness and decides to stop treatment to end their suffering, we’re far more likely to understand. Sure, it might be upsetting that they don’t want to keep “fighting,” but ultimately, we agree that ending their suffering is more important.
We should think of suicide the same way.
Many people who end their lives have been suffering from #depression for years. They may have tried every form of therapy and medication available. If they’ve run out of options for healing, we shouldn’t blame them for wanting to end their life, the same way we shouldn’t blame those suffering from a terminal illness who want to stop treatment.
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Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
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But Cerel thinks the culture around suicide in the U.S. is starting to shift. For example, the American Psychological Association no longer uses the word “commit” when referring to suicide. Instead, “died by suicide” is now used. “‘Committed’ really connotes that someone committed a crime or committed a sin,” Cerel says. “It’s very pejorative.”
And that’s the thing. We shouldn’t look at those who die by suicide as bad, selfish or sinful. Of course, it’s devastating to lose someone you love, and it’s normal to be angry. But we need to try harder to put ourselves in their shoes. If every day is unbearable and death is the only way to relieve the pain, perhaps we shouldn’t think of suicide as a choice.
“I think more people are realizing that those who are suicidal aren’t making a choice to end their lives,” Cerel says. “They’re trying to get out of completely intolerable circumstances.”
Last year, the assisted suicide case of 29-year-old Aurelia Brouwers in the Netherlands drew attention because of the patient’s young age and because she was one of few people euthanized for mental illness in the country in 2017. That year, 83 out of 6,600 assisted suicide cases in the Netherlands were for people with psychiatric disorders. But according to friends and family, as well as Brouwers’ posts on Facebook, she was very happy about receiving approval for the procedure. One of her friends, Toon Krijthe, told The Guardian at the time, “I was glad for her because I knew this was her only option — and I knew if it wasn’t a yes, she would find another way.”
The primary focus, of course, should remain on suicide prevention, and this, says Cerel, is sometimes simpler than it seems. She suggests that we all help with “caring contacts” interventions — simple texts or phone calls with people experiencing depression can be very effective at preventing suicide. “We know that people are kept alive by simple human contact,” Cerel says.
But reframing how we view suicide can be helpful for everyone — those who struggle and live, those who choose to die, health care professionals and loved ones alike.
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James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
www.StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
JamesD@StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org