Heather Loeb
Two weeks ago I wrote a column about #suicide and how silence surrounding it and #mentalillness can be deadly. Three people emailed me that day, one who was suicidal and didn’t have a support system. After discussing resources and what to do, I started thinking back to when I was suicidal, when I made a plan and how terrifying it was to feel that way.
I was abusing benzodiazepines, taking way more than I should. I was cutting myself. I was hopeless. I was binge eating. I had awful #anxiety. And I couldn’t see how bad it was. Eventually, I told my husband what I was doing, admitting that I was hanging by a thread. Even though I’m in recovery, I still have those thoughts on bad days.
Obviously I’m not alone. It’s overwhelming to me that three people would reach out to a virtual stranger because they thought they were a burden or that nobody cared. We have to do better.
Friends tell me that they aren’t taken seriously when discussing their #mentalillness. One friend was called attention-seeking when he admitted he was suicidal. How awful is that? I’ve been there, and nothing scares you more than your own brain telling you to kill yourself. It’s hard to see the truth. You start to believe what your mind is telling you.
More than 47,500 people died by #suicide in 2019 — that’s one death every 11 minutes, according to the #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention.
And what’s outrageously wrong is if someone does die by #suicide, they’re called selfish. That’s unbelievable. Some may even say they wished their friend had reached out, when really he did but was ignored. #Suicide is not selfish — all anyone in crisis wants is for the pain to stop, and the pain is all-consuming. It feels like breathing is too much work, your body is heavy, and it feels so lonely, like nobody else has ever experienced that kind of pain and dying seems like the only solution.
It’s tragic, but it doesn’t have to happen.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book,
Celebrating Your Gift of Life:
From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy
#MentalHealth Matters: For some, staying silent about personal struggles can be deadly
To change we must adjust how we react to our friends who confide in us, even if we don’t understand them. Listen and be open-minded. Withhold judgment. Suggest support groups (you’ll find a ton online).
Help find them a #psychiatrist, research #mentalhealthconditions, check on them consistently and ask how you can help. Let them know they can talk to you as much as they need. If it’s a #child struggling with suicidal thoughts, find help immediately.
#Suicide is 100 percent preventable. Compassion and understanding play a big part in the anecdote.
To put things in perspective, more than 47,500 people died by #suicide in 2019 — that’s one death every 11 minutes, according to the #CentersforDiseaseControlandPrevention. #Suicide is the tenth leading cause of death overall in the U.S. and the second leading cause of death among those 10-34 years old. These numbers are two years old and will certainly be higher because of the #pandemic.
It’s crucial that we talk about it to save lives. We must be able to remove the #stigma surrounding #mentalillness and #suicide now.
HOW TO GET HELP
If you are suicidal, please call your #doctor or go to the nearest emergency room. You also can call the #NationalSuicidePreventionLifeline at 1-800-273-8255. You also can text 741-741, a crisis text line.
To those struggling, I see you. You are not alone, and I honor your pain. I’m reminded of a quote that helped me in my darkest days: “If you believe breaking is possible, believe fixing is possible.” (Rabbi Nachman of Breslau).
Just hold on, friends.
Heather Loeb
For more than 20 years, Heather Loeb has experienced major #depression, #anxiety and a #personalitydisorder, while also battling the #stigma of #mentalhealth. She is the creator of Unruly Neurons (www.unrulyneurons.com), a blog dedicated to normalizing #depression and a member of State Rep. Todd Hunter’s #SuicidePrevention Taskforce.
MIND MATTERS
Now more than ever we need to take care of our #mentalhealth. Guest columnist Heather Loeb discusses why and explores other important #mentalhealth topics in this special series.
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
www.StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
JamesD@StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
