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James Donaldson on Mental Health – Depression in young men is on the rise. Athletes may be the key to getting help.
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Young men have fewer friends, spend more time on screens and face high risks of overdose and suicide. The ‘manosphere’ makes it worse. Role models, like athletes opening up about struggles, can help.
By Gevin Reynolds and Dave Cavell
If you or someone you know need mental health resources and support, please call, text or chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline or visit 988lifeline.org for 24/7 access to free and confidential services.
Although Duran, 28, is fortunately still with us, too many are not. Suicide is robbing families of their sons at a heartbreaking frequency. Meanwhile, drug overdoses – also driven by isolation and despair – remain tragically commonplace. About 15% of men report having no close friends. Adolescents are battling feelings of incompetence, inadequacy and depression at higher rates than ever before.
Like Duran, we both know what it’s like to search for light in the midst of intense darkness. By the time we met while working as speechwriters for Vice President Kamala Harris in the White House, we had both grieved sudden losses of our fathers, the central male forces and role models in our lives. Despite our packed schedules, we made time to talk about how hard we had both found the period after the initial outpourings of support and funeral planning. As condolence cards slowed and reality settled in, we talked about the struggle to confront life’s cold realities without the most important men in our worlds.
Unfortunately, as Duran’s story indicates, simply asking for help is often difficult, especially for young men. Far too many boys grow up being told they should “be a man” about their problems, which often leaves them to suffer in silence.
Thankfully, we both had supportive, caring networks of friends and family to turn to. They encouraged us to ask for help and checked in on us when they could tell something was wrong. Many others are not so lucky.
The manosphere, misogyny and extremism
Instead of engaging with the physical world or turning to mental health resources and counselors, teenage boys are increasingly relying on their screens, spending an hour more a day than teen girls interacting with the digital world.
What they’re encountering online is making matters worse. Ask any young man in your life what they and their peers watch online, and you will almost inevitably hear about content collectively called the “manosphere.” These are online spaces on platforms like YouTube where snake oil salesmen like misogynist Andrew Tate, podcast host Joe Rogan and conservative commenter Charlie Kirk have staked their claim.
Manosphere influencers have millions of listeners and followers who regularly consume their misinformed and often misogynistic content. The shock value of the content – from pornography actors to conspiracy theorists – hooks young men, and the paranoid and angry community slowly reels them in.
Preliminary research shows that young men who regularly engage with the manosphere feel greater stigma around seeking treatment for mental health issues. In addition, exposure to the manosphere likely feeds misogyny and drives young men toward more extreme right-wing political views.
Now, for the first time in years, Republicans have the advantage over Democrats among young male voters.
Many have wondered how to help young men find a better, more hopeful way forward. Duran’s shocking and courageous admission has offered a path.
#James Donaldson notes: Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes. Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use. Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.#http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book, #CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy
Even as a soon-to-be millionaire professional athlete and All-Star MVP, Duran admitted that only after he aimed a rifle at his head and pulled the trigger – thankfully, it did not fire – was he willing to seek help.
In the midst of depression and disappointment, athletes might be the exact people young men can look to in order to help pull themselves up. The data is clear: When athletes speak, their young fans listen.
We know anecdotally and from research that young men look up to professional athletes – in some cases more than they do their own family members. Think about it: How many times have you heard a little boy say that he wants to be a professional athlete when he grows up?
Through the lens of highlight reels on social media, it can appear that professional athletes have “made it” – that they live charmed lives of sports cars and lavish homes. But as Duran’s horrifying story indicates, the reality is often more complicated.
As part of a new project the two of us are working on, we have talked to pro athletes, both stars and unheralded players who are still trying to solidify their spot on a starting roster. All of them – no matter how many games they started or records they set – talked about overcoming injuries, critical missed shots or tackles and moments of doubt.
Instead of pretending they were invincible or lashing out at others, as the manosphere encourages young men to do, time and again these athletes talked about finding the courage to ask for help.
We talked to a current NFL player who recounted getting cut by his former team the week of Thanksgiving. After receiving the news, he walked out of the team facility – passing his teammates on their way in – and called his mom to explain that she would not be attending his game on Sunday.
Like us, these athletes also turned to networks of friends and family to lift them up when they were down. Fortunately, many of them found healthy, hopeful ways to rise above obstacles in their lives and careers.
These lessons are just as critical outside of the world of sports. We believe they can help turn young people away from the manosphere’s small, angry vision of manhood. Our fathers and role models taught us to treat others – especially women – with kindness and respect, to think before we speak and to ask for help when we need it.
At a time of crisis for young men, we call on other professional athletes to follow in Duran’s brave footsteps and share their own stories of setbacks and challenges with young fans who need to hear from them.
Watching sports should not just be about celebrating the highlights – it is also an opportunity to learn from the lowlights.
Most of all, if you or someone you know is struggling, please call a friend, tell a family member or doctor, or reach out to an organization like Samaritans. And if you are in immediate danger, call the?National Suicide Prevention Lifeline?at 988 or 1-800-273-8255.
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James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
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