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James Donaldson on Mental Health – Loneliness, Fear of Failure, and Suicide Among Young Adults
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The world is complicated and the stress of transitioning into adulthood is affecting young adults
Key points
Loneliness and fear of failure are prominent among young adults.
Only one-third of young adults feel cared about by others.
Young adults can feel behind before they even start.
Loneliness and the fear of failure seem rampant among young adults today, and one survey reported that only one-third of young adults feel cared about by others. It’s taking a toll. These emotions complicate life and can harm mental well-being. They may even increase the risk of self-harm. It’s important to understand how these issues connect. This knowledge helps us support young adults facing these challenges.
The Rise of Loneliness in Young Adults
Feeling lonely is now more common in general, but especially among young adults. A 2020 survey by Cigna found that 79 percent of Gen Z adults (ages 18-22) reported feeling lonely. This rate is much higher than in previous generations.
Social media now rules our daily lives. Many young adults feel lonely, even while online. This is due to changing social norms and the effects of COVID-19. Social media has a complicated role in loneliness.
Social media can help people stay connected, but it can also create a false sense of connection. Young adults often compare their lives to the perfect moments they see on Instagram, TikTok, and Snapchat. This leads to feelings of inadequacy and disconnection. Studies show that too much social media can increase loneliness and depression (Twenge and colleagues, 2021).
Loneliness isn’t just about being alone; it’s about feeling disconnected. Many young adults wonder, “Why does everyone else seem so put together while I feel lost?” This feeling of being on the outside looking in makes it harder to reach out for help.
Research shows that loneliness is not only emotionally painful but also physically harmful. A study in *Perspectives on Psychological Science* (Holt-Lunstad and colleagues, 2015) found that chronic loneliness is as harmful to health as smoking 15 cigarettes daily. It is also closely linked to depression and suicidal thoughts, which makes it a serious issue.
The Crushing Fear of Failure
Young adults today are under intense pressure to succeed in school, relationships, and their careers. Fear of failure can be overwhelming. It makes many feel they’re falling behind before they even begin. A study in Frontiers in Psychology by Sagar and Stoeber (2009) found that perfectionism and fear of failure can cause anxiety, depression, and distress. Much of this fear comes from unrealistic expectations. Society, family, and even young adults set these standards. Many feel lost while trying to build their future. They worry about getting stable jobs, moving out, or keeping relationships. Their thoughts can feel overwhelming: If I don’t make it now, I never will. Everyone else is ahead of me—what’s wrong with me? Social media often shows others’ successes, making failure seem unacceptable. Watching influencers or friends live perfect lives can make any setback feel devastating. This mindset can lead to avoidance, imposter syndrome, and burnout. Over time, it hurts self-esteem. Young adults may feel hopeless about their futures.
How These Issues Connect to Suicide Risk
When loneliness and fear of failure come together, the effects can be dangerous.
The CDC reports that suicide rates for people aged 15-24 have risen by nearly 60 percent in the last decade.
A study in JAMA Network Open (Twenge and colleagues, 2021) found that lonely young adults often think about suicide. Research in Psychological Medicine (O’Connor and Kirtley, 2018) found that feeling like a failure can lead to worthlessness. This feeling is a major risk factor for suicide.
Many struggling young adults think: If I can’t meet expectations, what’s the point? Or, I don’t belong anywhere, and no one would even notice if I were gone. These painful thoughts often go unnoticed by friends and family. It’s crucial to recognize the warning signs and provide support before a crisis occurs.
With social media constantly highlighting other people’s achievements, it’s easy to feel like failure isn’t an option. Seeing influencers or peers seemingly living perfect lives can make any setback feel like the end of the world. This mindset leads to avoidance, imposter syndrome, and burnout. Over time, it chips away at self-esteem and can leave young adults feeling hopeless about their future.
#James Donaldson notes: Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes. Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use. Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space.#http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book, #CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy
Prioritizing real-life interactions and joining supportive communities can help ease loneliness.
Schools, workplaces, and organizations can create mentorship and peer-support programs.
Group therapy and support networks provide safe places to share struggles. They help young adults feel understood.
Taking breaks from social media helps. It also lets you focus on positive content. This can lower feelings of isolation.
Identifying and finding resources for those who struggle with making connections. Radically open dialectical behavior therapy focuses on connections with others.
2. Changing the Way We See Success and Failure
Schools and workplaces should encourage a growth mindset. They should show that failure is a normal part of learning.
Parents, educators, and mentors can help young adults see success as a journey, not a single moment.
Practicing self-compassion can help counter perfectionism and fear of failure.
Social media literacy helps young adults tell the difference between real life and curated online content.
Seek therapy for perfectionists and those with overcontrolled tempers. They often struggle with a fear of failure.
3. Expanding Mental Health Support
Making counseling and crisis resources more accessible can save lives.
Schools and workplaces should proactively offer mental health education and screenings.
Making therapy and mental health care normal can help young adults get support before a crisis hits. Find a match for the young adult’s temperament.
Tech companies should improve social media algorithms. This can help promote mental well-being. It’s important to move away from a harmful comparison culture.
Final Thoughts
Loneliness, fear of failure, and suicide in young adults are serious problems. We can’t ignore them. Social media can help but also harm. It can connect us, but it can also heighten feelings of isolation and inadequacy. We all play a part in building stronger connections. We need to change how we view success and ensure mental health resources are available for those in need. Together, we can build a world where young adults feel valued, supported, and hopeful about their future.
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James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
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