Richard Marquis and Kathleen Marquis, Guest Columnists
I view mistakes in this light: All you can do is what you think is right at the time. If proven wrong later, learn from it.
I used this rationale often as a #parent.
My goal is to educate people in the hope they can avoid my major misstep. I want to reach families who are enduring a #mentalhealth nightmare, and those who will in the future.
The feeling of being completely overwhelmed, having no idea where to turn for help in a state ranked 48th for #mentalhealthsupport and a denial of the magnitude of the #mentalhealthcrisis we faced, led to a rapidly deteriorating situation (Footnote 1).
We did our son no favors in our delay, putting him at extreme risk.
The #NationalAllianceonMentalIllness (#NAMI) provides free classes to help individuals, families and caregivers with the education they need to cope.
I will quote from #NAMI’s Family-to-Family program, which my wife and I found extremely helpful. Lifesaving, actually.
They list the emotional responses to a #mentalhealthcrisis in three stages:
- Crisis — shock, confusion, denial
- Coping — anger, guilt, resentment, grief, exhaustion, numbness
- Advocacy — empathy, acceptance, energy, motivation, determination
My mistake was spending too much time in the initial crisis phase. I was trapped in denial, to the point of self-pity, I now realize.
My misguided rationalizations are easy to recognize now.
“It is just a stage he is going through.”
“It will get better if we are patient.”
Denial is a trait easier to recognize in other people than in ourselves. We wasted precious time. The sooner you get proactive, the sooner you can start making a difference. And the sooner they get help, the better their chances of a positive outcome.
At one point, I felt we might actually be too late.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
So, educate yourselves to the warning signs of both #mentalhealthissues and #suicide. Your #children, and especially their circle of friends, can provide you the lead time you need. But for that to work, you have to stay objective and receptive to what you are seeing and hearing.
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
www.StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
JamesD@StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
