BY LILLIAN LAKE
Last year I thought I would generally write about my health crisis more than I did. I’ve since decided only to share pieces when I think they are most helpful.
This week I share a piece of my story related to #mentalhealth.
Following emergency abdominal surgery and four days into being an ICU #patient, I insisted on getting up. Then I asked to be left alone, although I knew a Boston team was watching me via a webcam as I sat in front of the mirror at the sink, terrified and anxious. Lowering my gown, I surveyed the surgeon’s handiwork. My eyes took in the staples that ran a track down the center of my body, punctured and bruised from IVs and accentuated with surgical prep stains. My eyes formed droplets of tears. They skidded uncertainly off my cheeks and fell like shattered glass on my chest. They wanted to become rivers, but that moment was not the time for rivers. I didn’t recognize the person looking curiously back at me. My entire body was swollen and brutalized; I thought my future would be measured in steps rather than miles. I was not wrong.
Later, I described my experience to someone, adding that the body is a temple for the soul, but at that moment, mine resembled the set from Indiana Jones! But, at least my sense of humor and soul remained intact.
Their response was, “you are being dramatic.”
No words express how this response made me feel even more defeated and devastated. I immediately decided not to share my story, specifically that part, with anyone else. And until today, I haven’t.
Too often, when one shares how they are feeling or experiencing, it is met with such flat finality as what I experienced. Was I being dramatic? One asks this of themselves, causing feelings of judgment and abandonment. While this didn’t apply to me at that moment, for someone having #suicidalideation, the consequences can be devastating.
I’m not a #mentalhealthprofessional by trade, nor an expert on #suicide, but a #caregiver and #caregiver advocate. I’ve crossed paths with those contemplating #suicide, and as a bereavement #counselor, I’ve heard the stories of those who have experienced the effect of #suicide on their family.
In 2020, 12.2 million people reported ideating about #suicide. The numbers are rising among #teens, particularly #girls and young #women.
Our country needs to increase its investment in #mentalhealthservices meaningfully. #Mentalhealth should be discussed frequently, normalizing its importance.
What can we say to someone expressing their feelings or #suicideideation? Here are a few suggestions:
I believe you. I’m not judging.
Your thoughts are safe with me. Tell me what you need.
I’m here listening.
I’m sorry for your pain. Is there anything I can do?
You are not crazy. Thank you for your courage. I will hold space for your healing.
Your soul is safe here. You are loved.
It’s okay to feel what you feel. Your feelings are real. Together we’ll get through this.
#James Donaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
Find out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundation
website www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson’s latest book,
#CelebratingYourGiftofLife:
From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy
www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
www.StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
JamesD@StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
