#Grief is a human and natural response to #suicide
It is a process that each person experiences differently. #Grief is expressed in many ways and there is no specific timeline, however the pain should ease with time.
#Grief in response to #suicide can be particularly complicated. Feelings of guilt, shame, anger, regret and blame are very common, and some people can find it difficult to be open about the cause of death because of the stigma associated with #suicide.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
The intensity and complexity of #grief can be affected by:
- relationship with the person who died
- the circumstances surrounding their death
- existing coping strategies
- available support networks
What does #grief look like?
#Grief can leave us feeling out of control and overwhelmed. Some of the experiences of grief following suicide might include: BehaviouralCognitiveEmotionalPhysicalSpiritual How do I recover from grief?
It’s important not to expect too much of yourself in the early stages of grief. Some things to remember:
- There is no wrong or right way to grieve
- There is no specific timeline – let the process run its course
- Give yourself and others permission to grieve
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help if you think you’re not coping.
In a family or group situation, the pain and hurt can make communicating difficult and conflict can arise. Keep communications open but also respect each other’s coping techniques.
Most people become aware that life will never be the same. Grief will subside and you’ll experience more frequent and longer periods of energy and hope. Memories will become less painful and the loved one who died will become part of life in a new way. Activities to help with grief
- Spend time alone to think, remember, pray, meditate, soul search and mourn.
- Talk to a trusted ‘other’ who will listen with understanding to your thoughts and feelings.
- Develop a resource list, phone numbers of people and places to contact when the going gets tough.
- Find distractions, to provide time out from the pain.
- Collect information, read simple books about surviving #suicide, or about life enhancement, when you are ready.
- Use physical nurture, massage, spa baths, early nights, and get some fresh air by going for short walks.
- Keep treasures, a memory box, journal, photo album.
- Create a memory book for family and friends to write stories, memories, messages.
- Create or build a special memento for your loved one: a garden, a CD or DVD, photo album.
- Eat a healthy diet, frequent small amounts of nutritious, easily digested food.
- Exercise to boost energy or to use excess adrenaline.
- Prioritise daily tasks, do only what is essential.
- Use an answering machine, choose who you will talk to.
- Record a message on your phone saying something like: “Thank you for your call. I appreciate it. I’ll get back to you when I can.”
- Write notes to relatives and friends when you need to tell aspects of your story, or to express feelings.
- Keep a journal to record your thoughts and feelings, especially if you are unable to sleep.
- Spend time with nature.
- Review pictures and mementoes.
- Visit the burial site or some other special place.
- Rearrange and store the person’s belongings when you are ready to.
- Attend individual counselling or a support group.
- Find ways to honour the life of the person who has died.
Professional help and support
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
www.StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
JamesD@StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
