#StephenJohns revealed earlier this week he struggled with #depression and suicidal thoughts during his recovery from post-traumatic headaches and #post-traumaticsyndrome. But how this was talked about on local radio overshadowed his story a bit.
#Hockey has a specific culture, one in which a player that plays through pain is turned into hero-worship, where players don’t always report when they’re having concussion symptoms so they can play. It’s the sport that touts having the toughest #athletes, where a team eliminated from the playoffs has a litany of injuries that come to light that players gritted through in the quest to lift the Stanley Cup.
It’s really not hard to see where hero worship comes from.
It’s likely one factor — among many others in hockey culture — as to why players rarely speak out about harder topics, such as #mentalhealth, including addiction, #depression, #suicide. It hasn’t been until recently players have felt comfortable talking about these sides to their stories. Often, it’s told in a format in which the player has established trust with a reporter to help tell the nuance of their story in a careful, thoughtful way.
That’s what Stars defenseman #StephenJohns did when he opened up to Sean Shapiro at The Athletic earlier this week. While most knew Johns missed 22 months due to post-concussion headaches and #posttraumaticsyndrome, the harrowing journey he had in coming back to the NHL was beneath the surface.
In more than three hours of conversations with Shapiro, Johns shared what he was comfortable with being known about his struggles. It’s not surprising Johns spoke at length with Shapiro, who has covered him since Dallas acquired him in July 2015. An established trust is paramount when choosing to tell these stories publicly. It’s a nuanced topic that can be painful when reliving one of the most horrible times in someone’s life. It’s hard enough without having to worry about how it could be portrayed or how details will be handled that allows people to understand what someone was going through without making it harder on the person that went through it.
On Wednesday, Johns discussed his journey with The Ticket, the Stars’ flagship station.The interview was good with questions you’d expect to be asked about how he’s doing and walking through the beginning of his post-traumatic headaches. After Johns explained riding in a cab and trying to answer a simple question, “What do you like to do for fun?” and saying he hadn’t been able to provide an answer because the last six months hadn’t been fun or held any kind of bright spot in it — a time Johns described as the “lowest part of my life for sure” — Ticket host #NormHitzges pulled the interview into a shocking direction by requesting Johns to, “tell us about the #suicide notes you constructed in your mind.”
Hitzges was unequivocally wrong to approach such a personal topic this way.
One would expect someone with Hitzges’ 45 years of experience would understand not to do that. It was insensitive to want to have Johns relieve those thoughts. #Mentalhealth is a spectrum that varies wildly from day to day and hour to hour that’s not black or white. Hitzges’ wording could easily lead someone to slide from one end of the spectrum to the other quickly.
When I shared the interview on Twitter, I was perplexed to see not everyone thought Hitzges was wrong. There were some that did, but those that didn’t are why this conversation is important.
If Hitzges’ intention was to talk about the effects #depression had on Johns, this was not how to do it. There’s no way of knowing what was or wasn’t discussed before the interview in terms of which topics that were on or off the table for Johns’ appearance. I assumed it wouldn’t need to be specifically called out to “not ask about his #suicide notes.”
This is common sense. The simple element of human compassion not to do it at all, and instead ask more broad questions that frame the effects being depressed had on him. If Johns speaks to the suicidal notes himself, that’s him letting someone into his truth.
No one has any right to the deepest recesses of someone’s mind unless they give us the invitation to join them there by sharing it themselves in their own time and of their own volition. Putting him on the spot, and hearing Johns’ sigh before he declined to answer, Hitzges came across as insensitive to the topic.
It shows we all could and should learn how to communicate better about #depression and #suicide in #sports, no matter how experienced or educated or trusted you are. Because if media members continue to ask such questions like this, how many people could be put off by coming forward with their own #mentalhealthstruggles if that’s the kind of response they think people will have? Opening up about #mentalhealth is hard enough without throwing up additional barriers or making someone constantly relive their worst feelings by providing details — and thinking we are entitled to them is the first thing that needs to stop.
#JamesDonaldson notes:
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
www.StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
JamesD@StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at jamesd@yourgiftoflife.org and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
