Having struggled with #depression for around seven years, I have grown familiar with what I see as one of its worst symptoms: suicidal thoughts.
Throughout my #depression, the severity and consistency of these thoughts have varied, but they are always there, waiting to jump out and disarm me at the most unexpected of times. And right now, they are refusing to go away.
As I’m sure you are aware, #suicidal thoughts aren’t exactly something we talk about in a quick catch up, or in the simple exchange of messages. But if like me, you struggle with them, it might be the one thing that you really do need to talk about.
But see, it isn’t so easy as just telling the other person, “I’m having thoughts about taking my own life.” In the deep darkness of #suicidal thoughts, there are many barriers that stand in the way. We are afraid of how people will respond, if they’ll freak out, who they might tell, how upset they’ll get or how little they’ll seem to care. We are afraid that #suicidal thoughts will scare them and that, without necessarily meaning to, they won’t be there anymore to ask us how we are. #Suicidal thoughts seem a world away from ordinary conversation and the thought of mentioning anything becomes too overwhelming to even consider.
Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.
Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.
Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticle
If you feel as though you are able to say something, then I beg of you that you do. But I know this isn’t always the case. This is why I am reaching out to those who have friends who are in the depths of #mentalillness to find the courage to ask them this simple question: “Are you having #suicidal thoughts?”
We are often too afraid to ask such deep and direct questions like this. Perhaps we are afraid that asking this sort of question could trigger suicidal thoughts. But the reality is if someone is fighting #depression, it is most likely they are familiar with these thoughts. If their answer is “no,” then no harm has been done, and they will understand that you care deeply enough about them to ask. And if the answer is “yes,” then you might have just given them both the freedom to finally tell someone and the relief of no longer having to fight suicidal thoughts in silence. When the thoughts become trapped in your head, they become all the more suffocating. But when you share even just the fact that you are thinking about #suicide, the burden isn’t quite as heavy anymore.
Whilst I have a number of dear friends looking out for me in my struggle, there is only one who asks this simple question: “Are you having #suicidal thoughts?” Not only does this bring relief and lighten the burden, but it means that in my darkest moments, when #suicidal thoughts start to threaten my safety and I become a danger to myself, I have someone I can turn to who I know will not freak out, but will share the burden by simply standing beside me in the darkest moments.
If you have a friend who you believe is in immediate danger, it is important to encourage them to seek professional help if they are not currently doing so. But I cannot explain how much it has helped to be able to talk about my #suicidal thoughts. Perhaps you could be the friend who reaches out to the loved one struggling with #depression, asking them the simple question: “Are you having #suicidal thoughts?” and help lighten the burden by enabling them not to have to battle these thoughts alone.
James Donaldson is a Washington State University graduate (’79). After an outstanding basketball career with WSU, he went on to play professional basketball in the NBA with the Seattle Supersonics, San Diego/L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, and Utah Jazz. He also played for several teams in the European Leagues in Spain, Italy, and Greece, and he toured with The Harlem Globetrotters to wrap up his career. James was an NBA All-Star in 1988 while playing center for the Dallas Mavericks. In 2006, James was inducted into the Pac-10 Sports Hall of Fame and also the Washington State University Athletic Hall of Fame. In 2010, James was elected as a board member for the NBA Retired Players Association.
James frequently conducts speaking engagements (motivational, inspirational, educational) for organizations, schools, and youth groups.
In 2010, James was the recipient of the NBA Legends of Basketball ABC Award, awarded for outstanding contributions in Athletics–Business–Community.
He believes in being a role model for success and professionalism to the scores of young people to whom he devotes so much of his time. He currently serves on several boards and committees and is a member of many organizations.
James believes in developing relationships that create a “Win-Win” environment for everyone involved, and in being the best he can be!
For more information about James Donaldson or to request he speak at your event, contact him at:
www.StandingAboveTheCrowd.com
[email protected]
1-800-745-3161 (voicemail & fax)
James Donaldson is the author of “Standing Above The Crowd” and “Celebrating Your Gift of Life” and founder of the Your Gift of Life Foundation which focuses on mental health awareness and suicide prevention, especially pertaining to our school aged children and men.
If you’re interested in having James come and speak to your group of young adults, business entrepreneurs, aspiring political and community leaders, and athletic teams, please contact him at [email protected] and or leave a personal message for him at 1-800-745-3161. Keep up with him and read about how he is reaching out and making a difference in the lives of so many around the world at www.yourgiftoflife.org
