James Donaldson on Mental Health - How Much Should You Monitor Your Teen’s Social Media?
Challenges to tracking Kids are smart and tech savvy — usually far more so than their parents — so if they want to find a way around social media monitoring, they will.
Challenges to tracking Kids are smart and tech savvy — usually far more so than their parents — so if they want to find a way around social media monitoring, they will.
Kayrl Reynoso in Michigan tried a program called OurPact — but it didn’t last long.
“My oldest figured out how to disable OurPact and to be honest, monitoring it was a challenge.
They can make accounts parents don’t know about, and who knows what they see on their friends’ phones,” recalls Reynoso.
“The best thing I came up with was talking and teaching.” How to respond to problems As your teen learns to appropriately and safely use social media, there are bound to be some bumps in the road.
If you come across troubling content or behavior, it’s best to address it in a calm, curious, nonjudgmental manner.
You could try something like, “Hey, I was doing one of my periodic checks of your social media and noticed some of your connections saying some pretty offensive stuff.
Is that always how they talk?” You can discuss why you find it upsetting, how it makes your child feel, what an appropriate response — if any — might be, when and how to block someone, and when to report such language to their school, their parents, or the social media platform itself.
A similar approach can be used even when it’s your own child acting questionably.
“Hey, I noticed…” is often a nonconfrontational way to open the door to conversation.
From the Author
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James Donaldson is a former NBA All-Star (1988, Dallas Mavericks) who played 20 years of professional basketball with the Seattle SuperSonics, L.A. Clippers, Dallas Mavericks, New York Knicks, Utah Jazz, and teams across Europe, before touring with the Harlem Globetrotters. A Washington State University graduate inducted into both the Pac-10 and WSU Athletic Halls of Fame, James went on to found The Donaldson Clinic, an outpatient physical therapy practice he operated for nearly three decades. Today he devotes his time to mental health awareness and suicide prevention — speaking to organizations, schools, and youth groups — and is the author of Standing Above the Crowd and Celebrating Your Gift of Life (2021). James recently relocated to the Dallas, TX area and believes deeply in being a role model of success and professionalism for the young people he serves.