James Donaldson on Mental Health - Getting Kids Ready for a Deployment

What to say When deciding how much to share with your children, it is best to be direct about the deployment, but you don’t have to share every detail.

Here are some guidelines: Keep in mind that children can sense when they are not being told the truth.

Some kids may also imagine a situation worse than the reality.

Ways of making the deployment seem less abstract, such as finding the location of your deployment on a map or globe, can help prevent anxiety.

Children may understand that there are dangerous aspects of the deployment, so it’s important for the service member to explain that they will do everything they can to stay safe while they are away.

Ellen Devoe, PhD, Associate Professor at Boston University School of Social Work and principal investigator for the program Strong Families Strong Forces , recommends that service members give their children two messages prior to deployment: Tell your children that you have an important job to do — a job that’s so important that you are going to make the sacrifice to be away from your family for a certain amount of time.

For example kids might like hearing that you’re helping keep people safe (or some other mission that applies to your situation).

Tell your children that they are just as important as your job.

You love them, you will miss them, and you’ll be thinking about them while you are gone.

Reassure them that their mom/dad/guardian is going to make sure that they are safe while you are gone.