James Donaldson on Mental Health - Raising Resilient Kids Who Are Prepared for the Future

Showing kids that we trust them I’m seeing a patient who’s gone through the first two years of college without going to class or writing a paper on her own.

I hesitated to include this example in the book, thinking it was too extreme.

However, I mentioned it to a colleague and he countered with a story about a young man who completed all four years of university the same way.

When he confronted the student’s mother about it, she said, “You don’t expect me to allow some grades to get in the way of his success, do you?” I’m not suggesting we banish tutors from the educational landscape.

They can guide students through facets of subjects that are particularly hard for them or through courses that are a punishing but unavoidable part of the core curricula.

Hiring a tutor also shows kids that needing help isn’t shameful; in fact, it’s wise to know when to ask for it .

If a child or teenager has learning disabilities, tutors can teach workarounds and how to study more effectively.

But hiring a tutor can also send the message I’m afraid you’re not smart enough.

A fearful family is one in which the parents don’t trust their children’s intelligence, competence or common sense.

They don’t trust the world to deliver the kind of advantages they feel are necessary for survival.