James Donaldson on Mental Health – How to Talk to Your Kids About Mental Health (At Every Age)

One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is a home where mental health is talked about openly — where feelings are named, struggles are acknowledged, and asking for help is treated as strength rather than weakness. These conversations don't have to be heavy or formal. They can happen in the car, at the dinner table, or during a walk. What matters is that they happen.

With young children (ages 3–7), the goal is building emotional vocabulary. Help them name what they're feeling: 'You seem frustrated. Is that right?' Read books that feature characters experiencing a range of emotions. Model your own emotional expression: 'I'm feeling a little stressed today, so I'm going to take some deep breaths.' Keep it simple and concrete.

With elementary-age children (ages 8–12), you can go deeper. Talk about the difference between a bad day and a longer struggle. Introduce the idea that brains, like bodies, can get sick and need care. Normalize therapy: 'Some people talk to a special kind of helper called a therapist when they're going through something hard.' Ask open-ended questions: 'What was the hardest part of your week?'

With teenagers, the approach shifts. Teens often resist direct questions, so try side-by-side conversations — talking while driving or doing something together rather than face-to-face. Share relevant news stories or ask their opinion on mental health topics. Be honest about your own struggles when appropriate. And above all, listen more than you talk.

Across all ages, the most important thing is to create a home where your child believes they can come to you with anything. That means responding to disclosures without panic, without minimizing, and without immediately jumping to solutions. 'Thank you for telling me that. I love you and we're going to figure this out together' goes a long way.

If your child is struggling and you're not sure how to help, don't wait. Talk to their pediatrician, school counselor, or a mental health professional. Early intervention makes a real difference. And remember: you don't have to have all the answers. You just have to show up.