James Donaldson on Mental Health - How Can I Get My Kids to Do Chores?

Make chores part of the routine Routines and structure are really grounding for kids, says Dr.

She suggests that children be told what the expectations are up front and have some choice (when possible) about the chores they want to do — set the table or clear the table, for example — to help them feel invested.

A chore chart that provides a visual schedule for what exactly each child will do on each day of the week is helpful; family meetings or “check-ins” are also good for reviewing expectations.

Break it down Kids are likely to be more successful, and therefore feel more of a sense of accomplishment, if they are given a job that is not only developmentally appropriate, but very specific.

Instead of telling your child something vague and potentially overwhelming like “clean your room,” for example, first tell them to put the Legos back in the bin and then tell them to put the books back on the shelves.

For children with executive functioning challenges, including those with ADHD, this approach is especially important.

When introducing a new responsibility or behavioral goal, Dr.

Mendel employs a technique known as “shaping.” So, you might tell your child to make their bed, but you change the definition of what that means gradually, over time.

Initially, “making the bed” could mean simply spreading the sheet on the bed.

Next time, it would mean spreading the sheet and placing the bedspread over it, and so on.