James Donaldson on Mental Health - Anxiety and Being Kind to Yourself

Self-compassion, then, allows us to transform a sense of isolation into connectedness when we are suffering.

Common humanity is such a valuable notion because we all know how lonely it is to live with an anxiety disorder.

I thought I was the only one who had trouble leaving the house.

I was so embarrassed about it — I wouldn’t talk about my anxiety with anyone.

When I learned that agoraphobia was an actual thing, and that other people had it too, it was like the weight of the world was lifted off me.

(Natalie, age 63) The root of self-compassion is mindfulness, which is defined as being completely open to whatever it is you are feeling or thinking in a given moment.

Many of us are uncomfortable sitting with our emotions because we are scared they will swallow us whole.

Mindfulness teaches us not to push away or try to suppress our emotions.

Another aspect of mindfulness is recognizing that your thoughts and feelings are not a permanent state — that they too will pass.

Understanding the transient nature of thoughts and emotions helps us stay off the hamster wheel of exaggeration — when your mind goes right to “This is the worst thing ever” or “I’ll never feel better.” If we believe that no emotional state lasts forever, then we are better able to tolerate pain and suffering.