James Donaldson on Mental Health – How to Talk About Mental Health Issues

One of the most important things I have learned in my years of mental health advocacy is this: silence is the enemy. When we are struggling — whether we are teenagers facing anxiety for the first time or adults carrying decades of unspoken pain — the first and most essential step toward healing is finding the courage to speak up. That step is harder than it sounds, but it is the one that changes everything.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, more than one in seven young adults experience a mental health disorder each year. Yet as many as half are struggling in silence. They are not silent because they do not want help. They are silent because they do not know how to ask for it, or because they are afraid of what will happen if they do.

Stigma is real. The fear of being judged, dismissed, or misunderstood keeps millions of people from reaching out. Maybe you have tried before and the response was not helpful. Maybe you cannot find the words to describe what you are feeling. Maybe you are afraid that speaking your pain out loud will make it more real. All of those fears are understandable. But the benefits of speaking up far outweigh the cost of staying silent.

Getting started does not require a perfect plan. One helpful first step is simply writing down what you are feeling. Are you sad? Anxious? Angrier than usual? Putting your feelings on paper can help you organize your thoughts and give you a clearer picture of what you are experiencing. You can even write out a script to help guide a difficult conversation. The goal is not to have the perfect words — it is to begin.

When you are ready to talk, choose someone you trust. There is no single right person to start with. What matters is finding someone you feel comfortable opening up with — someone you believe will listen without judgment. Starting with a supportive friend can help you practice and build confidence. But do not stop there. Friends can offer comfort, but they usually cannot connect you with the professional resources you need. The goal is to eventually reach someone who can help you access real support.

If you can talk to a parent or family member, that is a great place to start. If that feels too difficult, consider a trusted teacher, a school counselor, a family friend, your doctor, or a community or faith leader. The important thing is to be persistent. If one person does not respond the way you hoped, move on to someone else. Do not stop until you find someone who can help.

Once you are in the conversation, go at your own pace. You do not have to share everything at once. It is okay to take it slow. But when you do share, be honest about the severity of what you are experiencing. We are all trained to soften our struggles — to say "I have been a little anxious lately" when what we mean is "I feel anxious all the time and I do not know how to make it stop." That kind of minimizing makes it harder for others to understand how serious things are. Be clear. Be direct. Ask for help.

Building a support system takes time, and it rarely looks like one perfect person who has all the answers. A good support network is diverse — a friend who listens, a family member who shows up, a mental health professional who can guide treatment. Different people serve different roles. The goal is not to find one person to carry everything, but to build a team.

As you open up, it is also important to set boundaries. You get to decide who you tell, how much you share, and when. Your mental health does not have to define every conversation or relationship. Being selective and intentional about who you confide in helps you stay in control of your own story.

And remember: by talking about mental health — even to just one person — you are doing more than helping yourself. You are helping to break the stigma that keeps so many others silent. Every honest conversation about mental health makes it a little easier for the next person to speak up.

If you are in crisis right now, please do not wait. Your safety is the most important thing. Tell a parent, counselor, or teacher immediately if you are having thoughts of suicide or are afraid you might harm yourself or others. You can also call or text the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline to speak with a trained counselor 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Help is available. You do not have to face this alone.