James Donaldson on Mental Health - How do I tell my 10-year-old about my mental health issues?

Writer: Heather Bernstein, PsyD Clinical Expert: Heather Bernstein, PsyD Question How do I tell my 10-year-old daughter about my own mental health issues?

I have BPD and hear voices and am unsure how to explain why sometimes I am different.

Answer Ithink one of the most important things for you to know is that this isn’t a one-time conversation, so you don’t have to say it all at once.

You are opening a dialogue that will probably continue for the rest of your child’s life, so less is more.

Take it slow and communicate that you aren’t afraid to talk about mental health.

In terms of what to say, being developmentally sensitive is important.

A 10-year-old might not be able to understand what hearing voices means, for instance.

You might start by focusing on how your mental health impacts your daily life.

This is a good strategy because that’s what your child is probably going to care the most about.

So you might say something like “I struggle with my mental health and what that means for me is I sometimes feel really big emotions and I have to manage those.” Or maybe it’s “I have a hard time with my relationships.” While you are talking, really pay attention to how your daughter is responding.