James Donaldson on Mental Health - Teens and Romantic Relationships

Do know the difference between good and bad conflict We tend to think of conflict as a bad thing, but it isn’t always.

Conflict can even bring a couple closer together if they are able to stick to these rules during a disagreement: Explain how you feel and be specific Listen to how they feel and try to be understanding Avoid generalizations Don’t bring up past disagreements Try to say things that are productive — not critical Do know the signs of an abusive relationship If you are in an abusive relationship your boyfriend or girlfriend might: Be constantly critical of you, and make you feel bad Try to keep you away from your friends or family Want to check your phone messages Use social media to monitor where you are and who you are talking to Threaten that something bad will happen if you break up Force you to do things you don’t want to do Make you feel guilty Hurt you A few Dos and Don’ts just for parents: Do listen and communicate with your teen Kids don’t confide in their parents as much as they get older, so when kids do feel like talking, really make an effort to be available and listen.

Don’t look squeamish You (and your teen) might feel awkward talking about romantic relationships, but do your best to look comfortable during any talks .

If you look too worried or negative they will be less likely to come to you if they want to talk.

Don’t recreate Romeo and Juliet Try to be supportive of your son or daughter’s romantic choices unless you truly need to speak out.

Remember that teens can be extremely emotional and defensive — especially in response to parental criticism.

You don’t want to drive them away from you (and further into the relationship you’re questioning) by being too judgmental.

Frequently Asked Questions What advice can parents give teens starting to date?

How can parents protect teens from bad relationships?

What is some advice for parents of teens who are starting to date?